KELSEY GRACE PFEIFER

The Best Travel Game You’ve Never Heard Of

By Kelsey Grace 

I’d say in the past year I’ve spent nearly half of my life on trains. Living in Chicago, the CTA is by far the fastest, most efficient way to navigate the city. I almost feel bad for tourists who never truly grasp how wonderfully easy and cheap it is to get around as long as you have day-pass. Why spend $60 on Uber or Lyft when you can spend $10 and enjoy wonders like the free music of the Jackson St. stop, or the unbelievable Emerald City coffee that lives below the Sheridan stop.

Oh wait, I know why.

Because you don’t particularly want to experience the cesspool of hilarity that is the people on the CTA. Here’s an example of three real experiences that have happened on one of my train rides:

1.     There was a man sitting reading a romance novel, but instead of turning each individual page, he ripped them out.

2.     There was a woman who had sewn a dolls hair into her hair. Doll still attached.

3.     During one particularly memorable trip, I was sandwiched between one man unabashedly watching porn, and another wearing a clip-in man bun. I could not decide which was worse.

So I get it, but you could detest those people, or you could lean into the weirdness and play my personal favorite travel game- DISCOUNT.

The rules of discount are super simple.

1.     You try to find ‘discount’ celebrities or public figures. For instance, “Discount Idina Menzel” or “Discount Amy Adams.”

This takes a normal train ride, airplane wait, or trip to the movies and turns it into a massive manhunt.

2.     The person does have to resemble the celebrity/figure somewhat, but you can also use qualifiers; “Super Skinny Forrest Whitaker” or “Actual Human Gene Belcher” (I was lucky enough to spot him on the London Tube) and your partner or group can void the discount if you forget to mention this.

3.     Extra points for sneaky pictures. Duh.

4.     At the end of the trip, the person with the closest discount, wins.

The great thing about Discount is that the game never has to end. You can make it last a train ride, or your entire two week Cabo vacation, whatever floats your boat.

My favorite discount experience came when my college housemates and I had gone to London for a weekend away from Lincolnshire. We were walking into a TGI Friday’s (I judge our life choices too) and I stopped everyone in their tracks.

“DISCOUNT STING”

All of us watched as a man in draped clothing with far-too-many accessories passed us, looking like a fair version of Mr. Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner himself. It wasn’t until about a block later, when a few paparazzi jumped out yelling, “Sting! Sting, over here!” that my friends and I doubled over in laughter.

I had just discounted actual Sting.

Welcome to London ladies and gents.

So don’t be afraid to dive into the depths of public transportation, ‘cause who knows who you might find. And if you find a particularly good discount, send it to me! I’ll be the judge between real and fake commuters who are just trying to live their daily lives as you take creepy photos of them.